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COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE In some barangays, the parents choose the girls they want their
sons to marry, as was done in the old days. The persistence of this
custom illustrates the common saying that tradition dies hard. Usually,
however, they ask their son if he has found a girl he would like
to marry. After he has pointed out a girl of his choice and his
parents approve of her, they look for a spokesman who is usually
a relative with a gift of speech and the ability to talk in the
figurative language. They set a day for a visit to the girl's home and advise the girl's
parents of the projected call. If the girl's parents agree, the
boy's parents prepare a feast consisting of cooked rice, chicken,
pork and fish, together with some drinks, which may be wine or tuba
(coconut toddy) or both. Upon reaching the house, the spokesman
asks, "Would there be any objection to our going up?"
The parents of the girl invite them to come up. Fully aware of the
purpose of the visit, they welcome the visitors, but the girl hides
in her room. After an exchange of pleasantries and some conversation
on varied topics, they partake of the food and drinks. The spokesman
then opens up the subject and states the object of their visit,
saying that they would like to plant to plant a piece of ubi (yam)
in the land of the hosts. He then places the senyal on the
plate - - a small symbolic amount, such as two pesos and says, "may
the senyal meet no opposition!" Then they continue their
conversation on a variety of topics, and after some more drinks,
the boy's parents take their leave and go home. The parents of the girl consult their daughter about the matter,
but sometimes, if they like the boy, they bring on her to accept
him. If within the next three days the girl returns the senyal,
it will be understood that the proposal has been rejected. In such
an event, the parents of the boy make another attempt. They prepare
more food and drinks and double the amount of the senyal.
They wait again for three days, and if the senyal is again
returned, they either make a third trial or look for another girl. If the senyal is not returned, it is understood that the
proposal has been accepted. The boy's parents and relatives then
prepare food and drinks and they go to the house of the girl. As
usual, pleasant conversation takes place, in the course of which
the spokesman of the boy opens up, saying "Some days ago we
planted a piece of ubi on your land; we have come today to find
out if it has sprouted," or something to that effect. The spokesman
of the parents of the girl answers in the affirmative. Both parties
now talk about arrangement of the wedding. Sometimes, however, the girl's parents require the boy to render
personal service for a certain period of time, say three to six
months, during which the boy does all sorts of chores such as cleaning
the kitchen and the yard, fetching water, gathering wood for fuel,
tending the carabaos, feeding the pigs, plowing the field and planting.
The purpose of this personal service or pangagad is to enable
the parents of the girl to observe at close range the young man's
character and habits. When the parents of the girl are satisfied with the young man's
service and behavior, they invite the boy's parents to a meeting
to discuss the final arrangements for the wedding. The relatives
of the girl attend this meeting, at which more food and drinks are
served. When arrangement has been reached on the date of the wedding,
the parents of the boy prepare a big feast to which all relatives,
neighbors, and friends are invited. Enough cigars and tuba
are prepared for the guests. The bugay or dowry for the new
couple is also made ready. The boy or his parents provide the wedding
dress and shoulder all expenses for the wedding. After the wedding rites, a big feast is held in the home of the
bride. Later the bride is taken to the home of the bridegroom, sometimes
followed by a brass or string band. This is known as the ganas,
from the Spanish word ganar (to win). In the groom's house
she feigns coyness. She has to be given a gift before she goes up;
another gift before she enters the house, and still another before
she sits down. She is then given a glass of wine or water which
she is supposed to offer to the relatives of the bridegroom, addressing
them with the proper title or respect which she is to use henceforth,
such as tatay (father), nanay (mother), manong
(older brother), manang (older sister), etc. After the ceremony,
each sponsor or maninoy gives the newlyweds some useful advice. Tradition dies hard but folkways do change, albeit slowly, in these
rapidly changing times. In their desire for greater individual freedom,
today's boys and girls choose their own mates. A young man does
his own courting and, after an understanding has been reached with
his sweetheart, he asks his parents to see the parents of the girl
and plead for her hand. Food and drinks may also be prepared for
this meeting, but may not be as lavish as in the old system called
panuyo. The parents of the girl may consult her about the
proposal, but the consultation is a mere formality, since her acceptance
is a foregone conclusion. Loonanons spend lavishly for fiestas that they celebrate to honor
their town or barangay patron saints. They prepare food, local delicacies
and drinks. During fiestas in Loon, it is very common that homes
play host to strangers who are themselves strangers to each other.
Because of tradition some families resort to credit just to be able
to entertain fiesta revelers. Some of them, however, prepare for
the fiesta months earlier by raising hogs that they butcher come
fiesta time. Other households agree to form a group called sosyo
for which they put in a certain amount every month so that when
the fiesta approaches, they will have enough money to buy a carabao
(through a broker), cavans of rice, or drinks, which they equally
share among themselves. One beautiful custom of the Loonanons is that of cooperating with
one another in time of need. This is especially true in the barangays.
For example, when someone gets married, the relatives and neighbors
help with contributions of rice, fuelwood and labor. When someone
dies, the neighbors help in whatever task is needed, a practice
called dayong. While the women prepare food for the wake,
the men dig the grave. , still others cook the food for the visitors. In some barangays or chapel associations, a sort of mortuary aid
fund called tabo has been institutionalized. When someone dies,
bubong or household contributes a certain amount to be given
to the family of the deceased for wake and funeral expenses. The farmers also help one another in preparing each other's land
for planting through a practice known as hunos. The number of farmers
or neighbors involved depends upon the size of the farm and their
willingness to help. When a rural family wishes to move its house to a new location, bamboo poles are attached to it so that it can be carried by twenty or thirty men, depending on its size. When a visitor comes to a house for a call, he is warmly received and offered something to eat and drink during which the usual pleasant conversation takes place. In some houses, a glass of soft drink, wine, usually tuba, or cigars may be offered.
When a child is born it is baptized as soon as possible in order to forestall the possibility of its soul's going to limbo in case of death. Usually a baptismal party is given and visitors are entertained with food and drinks. The sponsor or maninoy, or in the case of a baby girl, the maninay, is certainly chosen. The parents choose one who is virtuous enough to be able to serve as a second parent for the child. The event brings together into close ties the parents of the baby and the sponsors. They call each other compadre or comadre, as the case may be. If the godson or goddaughter marries, the maninoy or maninay helps in whatever preparations may be necessary. When the church bell peals for the Angelus, the entire household, including the househelp, assemble before the family altar to pray. On the street, children stop their games while adults stop walking or whatever they're doing, bow their heads and quietly mumble their prayers. Children kiss the hands of their parents and elders as a sign of
respect usually when the evening prayer is over. Locally known as
amen, the gesture is also practiced when young members of
the family or clan meet their older relatives for the first time
or after a long time, when children leave for school or a long trip,
and every time they return home.
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